Do only 25% of women have orgasms from intercourse? We don’t really know.
If you are watching television or movies, often how often do you see heterosexual penis-in-vagina intercourse (PVI) sex result in dramatic orgasms by the women? Maybe 99% of the time? Most porn, movies, and TV lead us to think that people with vaginas have orgasms from having penises thrust into them, with no mention of, or attention to, the clitoris. How often do you think it happens that way in real life?
One statistic I often see circulated is that 25% of cisgender women have orgasms from penile penetration. But is that even true? On my podcast, Do We Know Things?, I looked into the info behind that stat and found that while we don’t have great data on the question of how people with vaginas have orgasms, the 25% number is probably pretty reasonable.
The 25% figure comes from the book The Case of the Female Orgasm, by Dr. Elisabeth Lloyd, published in 2005. Early on in the book, Lloyd reviewed all of the research she could find that asked about how cisgender women have orgasms. Based on 16 studies that had enough information, Lloyd calculated the percentage of women who said they always had orgasms from PVI. The average she came up with was 25%.
However, as Lloyd notes in her book, there is an issue with many of the studies because the questions often don’t differentiate between people who had orgasms during PVI vs. during sex generally, nor do many of the questionnaires differentiate between PVI alone or PVI plus additional clitoral stimulation. We still haven’t done a definitive study.
Why does this matter?
Sticking penises in vaginas is a key component of the heterosexual sexual script. Because most of our media shows orgasms happening from PVI, most people assume that this is the way that people with vaginas have orgasms. However, that does not seem to be the case for most people, based the research that does exist. There is a lot of variability in what brings someone to orgasm, so it is important to talk about the many ways orgasms can and do happen. There is no “right” way to orgasm.
I like to promote the idea that most people with vaginas do not have orgasms from PVI because of my general annoyance at the cultural obsession with penises as being the MOST IMPORTANT part of heterosexual sex. PVI doesn’t really stimulate the external parts of the clitoris, so it makes sense to me that most people with clitorises didn’t orgasm from PVI. The majority of people with clitorises need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Sometimes this happens from PVI alone, and lots of times it doesn’t! Very often it happens from other stimulation that doesn’t involve a penis at all!
I think it’s important to remember that everyone’s sexuality is different. There is a wide range of what gets people off that includes physical stimulation, psychological stimulation, and the emotional aspects of sex. All of these things contribute to having orgasms. Everyone should feel able to have orgasms (or not!) in the ways that work for them. Also, I want to note that orgasms don’t equate to sexual satisfaction. There are plenty of ways to enjoy sex that don’t involve orgasms. What is important is knowing what you like, what works for your body, and what makes you feel good.
If you want to hear all the details about the research on this topic, you can download Episode 1 of Do We Know Things?, available wherever you get your podcasts!